Victims in Vegas

Aloha! This is gonna be a long one since i haven't given you any updates for a couple of days. I hope that's okay. I'll try to sort it out as good as i can, but some parts are quite blurry.

Vegas - Day 1 (written late 3 nights ago)

I'm sitting here staring out at Mandalay Bay's black and gold facades from my room at Luxors 18th floor. The pack (Hanna, Jonas, Lina, Lasse, Christian and Linda) are out gambling, enjoying what this city has to offer. Myself - i'm longing to get out. This city is eating me up from inside. I hoped that it would feel different this time, that i'd be wrecked enough to enjoy it. But that was not the case. This city still burns. Slowly corrupting my soul, reaching towards my soul with it's poisonous daggers.

The sirens outside feels right at home, and it scares me. No other place i've been to has this overwhelmingly present feeling of death. While the stench crept under my skin earlier today, the rain fell heavy on my body. Someone is trying to remind me, trying to bat me right. I'm thankful of it.

I can't stop thinking about Kim. Wondering if she's out there, if she's dead or if she finally got out. I hope one of my guardian angels will answer my call and protect her instead of me. She changed my life and i'm in eternal debt for that. So grandma, please lend her a hand - one fallen angel is one too many.

We had dinner an hour back. The pack were complaining about the service, although Joe (our waiter) ran between the tables and did everything he could. All the mistakes that were made was a result of our weak communication. I saw it, but i guess gluttony and pride got in the way for some of the others. Along with the rest of the seven sins. I wish i would have been strong enough to buy Joe a drink, ask about his day and his family. Instead i ended up ashamed and embarrassed by our behavior.

I really miss my queen. She would have felt the same, shared my pain. Perhaps even felt it worse than me. People craving this city has lost something. Something important. There is no bread and no theaters that can numb the dark, cold and lonely feeling that make me shiver. Las Vegas.

Right now i just wanna hit the streets. Wait until the tolls have been claimed and the dust has settled. Many tears will fall and no one is there to listen. Unfortunately i don't have any strength left. I'm exhausted and drained of my ability to heal. The thought of an eternal rest for our sins is appealing. But i won't go down in flames. Like last time, i'll ride out the storm and come out improved in the other end.

Henrik - Sitting in one giant tomb